As a child and youth I didn’t understand things very well. Why is the world the way it is? Why do people do what they do? What’s it all about? Everyone around me seemed to know what was going on, and were getting along just fine. They may have been satisfied with the status quo, but somehow it didn’t make sense to me.
In high school and on into university my confusion gave way to disappointment. The gap between my expectations and reality widened, and I became cynical, scoffing at the standard plan of “get a college degree and good job, find a wife, raise a family, and live in a comfortable house in the suburbs.” That all seemed pointless in a world that was collapsing on all sides in war, environmental destruction, and threat of nuclear annihilation. What was causing all of these problems, really? Were there any solutions? I was sure there was more to life, but didn’t know what, or where to find it.
After several years of increasingly bleak prospects and diminishing hopes, answers started coming from unexpected places. Had I not been so desperate by then, I might have ignored them. But by the time those answers reached me they were like a cool glass of water for the dry throat of a parched wayfarer wandering in a desert of despair.
As I satisfied my initial thirst, my questions increased, and the answers kept coming. Soon it was a steady stream, then a river and finally a sweet-water ocean of discovery and knowledge. Today I’m swimming in answers, sometimes almost drowning. Now as questions continue to come, finding each answer becomes an interesting adventure leading to deeper confirmations.
Occasionally I turn towards the shore where I once stood, a vast dusty desert, devoid of any sign of life. Memories of those times rush back, and I long to reach out to others who may have found their way there, to offer the life-sustaining water that quenched my own thirst so long ago. To my deep regret, the only tool I have is an eyedropper.
This website and the publications and resources it points to are the best I can currently offer. Perhaps a kindred spirit will find here something that resonates. Going forward I can only hope that my abilities, tools and resources improve. In any case, the process of writing to share insights deepens my own understanding. Writing and sharing have become an integral part of the journey.